Search engine friendly titles are for wimps.
I say this with a grin, but you clench your abdominal muscles in fear, because you have heard the rumours; that I trained under the secret Web Master centuries ago to learn the ultimate web-fu style: Double Death Ultra Dragon Mega Menu Killswitch Combo Harvesterscript.
After besting my master and completing my training, I have wandered the land taking stock of all I see, casting judgment on none, but always watching... always waiting. Some say that when I cross over the earth on a cold autumn morning, that you can see the weight of my feet crystallise tiny floating divs on the ground below.
Others say that when I pass server rooms, LED displays glowing fitfully in the night, all the machines reboot simultaneously, their operating systems replaced with an inscrutable interface that plays like a text adventure with many, many endings.
A single wrong move and you could be sleeping with the grave-fish... but you have come here to learn, and learn you will.
As you kneel in the snow, balancing two servers on either shoulder, a support manual dangling from your teeth, I sit and sip my tea on the cold rocks above you, and secretly, I smile.
